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Happy New Year. Welcome to 2023. So this is a way for me to kind of get my thoughts out there and see if anybody identifies. I am I was raised as a woman and I identify. I'm a non binary but definitely more comfortable with there female role. However, I have always felt like a failure as a woman, and that has to do with my sexuality, which is ace. I'm on the asexuality spectrum
Deborah Pardes
@DBPardes · 3:07
So I think belonging to a group sometimes does feel good because you can have some people to bounce things off of. And I think the more letters that are attached to LGBTQ AI plus and then there's a few other things, it includes people in the Ace community. And I really sometimes wonder if we identify people and then identify them as marginalized, is it kind of creating its own fulfilling its own worst wishes? Because I think marginalization in some circumstances is just a framing
jamie church
@jemecherche · 0:49
Thank you so much for your response. I'm blown away by the fact you actually listened to it and responded. Thank you so much. I really appreciate what you're saying, and a lot of the things you said are really apt vocalizations for the things that are going on in my head, in my heart. So I appreciate that. I think I will change the name. Honestly
Wren .
@aBirdieOnaWire · 4:19
It's very something that I don't like at all. For one, I'm attracted to women. I'm married to a woman. And that's one aspect that I don't like. And a lot of times when I talk about that, I get the response, well, welcome to womanhood. It's like, well, no, that's no, shouldn't be that way. So there's a couple of things that you and I have in common
Everything Jay
@everythingjay · 4:05
You have kids and build a family. And let's just say you start to have your children in your 20 s, right? So you're having one at 20, 22, 24, 25. You're having all these kids. And by the time you're 30 years old, this kid is only like 10 or 11 years old and you have all of these kids, right? Younger
jamie church
@jemecherche · 4:51
So a woman being sexy in her own way, which I was never a very flashy dancer, but a woman being sexy in her own way, taking hold of her own sexuality and her joy and her beauty to do something that makes her feel amazing and uplifts other women in the audience. Because I was never dancing for the boys. I was always dancing for the other women. Like, hey, SIS, you can do this too. If you want to do this, be a little wicked
jamie church
@jemecherche · 0:21
Also sorry, that response was kind of a that was a whole journey. That was a whole journey there, but yeah, there was so much stuff in your comment that I was like, yes. And another thing. So yes, I appreciate you. I'm just going to go follow you now
jamie church
@jemecherche · 4:43
Sorry, I went off on a tangent there, so I'm just completely cutting it off. But, yeah, it makes dating hellish because I go on a second date with somebody and they're like and I'm like, no, I like you. You're a nice man. I just met you, though. So I just feel that the logistical and strategic difficulties of dating while queer in this particular way, it's not worth it. I mean, it's exhausting
It's not even safe to even really date anymore. It's not really good to sit up there and try to start something new with someone because of how these men mindsets are. And it's sad that they're looking for those two things you had mentioned despite the cursing, because there was some foul language that you were speaking. I agree, because the thing is, they don't really want a really good woman. They want one or two of what you were describing. And that's sad
Taha Abbas
@taha_oracle · 5:00
Hi. It's so nice to listen to your soil cast and thank you so much for sharing your beautiful journey, your transition, your exploration, your evolution. And I'm sure it will inspire many people to share their own, give voice to them, to be brave enough to come here and share whatever they have been through and learn as well. I agree with what you said about the gender roles and how we expect people to act in a certain way. And it's very claustrophobic
Sharon Hamersly
@SharonLee · 3:46
Hey, Jamie, this is Sharon. And I listened to your intro and very, very interesting and I could relate in a lot of things. I wouldn't call myself nonbinary. I would call myself a very strong, independent female. I divorced when my son was five, so that was 30 years ago. And I thought I would maybe get in a relationship in that time. But I have stayed single most of the time and I have to tell you, I love it
jamie church
@jemecherche · 2:14
For me, I do have an urge to have that kind of relationship with someone, but it's such a slog to get through all the emotional stuff to where I want that. So for me, asexuality is on what's called demisexual, which is like I just don't want to have sex with somebody unless I already have some sort of affectionate or some sort of emotional bond with them. I'm trying to say like some kind of relationship, but I don't mean to say relationship
jamie church
@jemecherche · 1:59
Culture at the moment is kind of turbulent, and it's really kind of a scary time to be coming out with thoughts like these. But I don't know. I don't know another way to do it. I don't know another way to be. So on the other hand, I do feel very lucky because I have been in a family structure and in a community that are allowing me to live my unfettered life that matches my spiritually unfettered life. I'm very lucky
jamie church
@jemecherche · 1:10
Oh, my gosh. I'm going to follow you as soon as I finish this. Thank you for your comment. It was lovely. And, yeah, I feel like if we knew each other, we would probably hang out. Although I would hold your purse while you went kayaking and keep the drinks cool because it's the kind of person I am. But yeah, and I think you're absolutely right
Everything Jay
@everythingjay · 5:00
But you should have a connection that is beyond just a physical that turns you on for that person. I just feel like men have a very skewed way of how they do themselves. Maybe there was a time where men were agent like fine wine. But let me tell you, from what I'm dealing, men and women are agents just the same these days. I don't know if it's a drugs
I don't care what the societal gender roles, expectations and roles in regards to sexuality are. And that's very much the place that I'm in myself right now. I was a previously identifying gay man, and because I thought that that was the only label that fit me, but there was always this internal knowing inside of me, this desire to present more femininely to the world. And I just for the longest time could not reconcile, what is this?
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