And I don't know why people minded so much about who I am and whatnot it's like. I lost sense of itself or something. And I get this fear in me. I have this fear. It arises. It's like this f****** crippling fear. And I'm so afraid of certain things. I'm afraid of being alone. But yet I've been alone my whole life, so to speak. I'm afraid of losing my family
But I've been in therapy for like two years now, and so I'm always talking to my therapist about this sense of emptiness and utter loneliness. And she's been saying, she said this before, but I think I recently started to embrace it more, which is that like, she's like, what if you just accept that emptiness and darkness inside of you? What if you try to approach it like a friend? You're like, Hi, emptiness. I know you're there
And yeah, I really opened up to him about what I was going through. I don't really do that with friends a lot because it's hard to really describe the dissociation. And I always felt like there's not much that people can do. Even if I tell them what I'm going through, that it's up to me to lift myself out of it
Dewuan .
@FryedOreo · 4:33
And I thought, well, maybe if I got this or that it would make it better or not, but you have to just kind of face it in a way. And I think from that acceptance, something can come forth from it. Because although you are lonely, it doesn't perhaps mean that you are alone in the world, in any small way we're here to hear you speak and it's cool that you are able to listen much as I was able to listen to you today
Wren .
@aBirdieOnaWire · 4:36
Hey, I'm hurting, and I really need help. And from some of the things you've listed, why wouldn't you be your human? But I think you'll get through this because you have displayed the strength and because you are emotionally available, you're open to receiving the advice and recommendation of others. So I think that's great. I'll, I guess, give you a little advice on what's helped me
Chelsea Hanawalt
@allowthesun · 4:55
It was through online. But yeah, I really believe strongly in connecting with your body because that for me helped a lot. And I still do those practices now. I know how to tap into it on my own, but I was taught to really hold everything in. And I think over the years I relearned how to cry. Like, I don't think I really ever knew how to cry because I would always hold back and fight back any emotions or tears
David Randolph
@Davelee32 · 4:18
Hello, Jarrett. I'm David. I'm actually new to this app, actually, I just started I think yesterday this app and I just heard you're reaching out. And I would like to say there is a song by I don't know if you listen to worship songs or do you listen to much music, but there's a song by Evalation Worship and Maverick City Music and there's a song that's entitled Mercy featuring Chris Brown
Jared DeCarlo
@jared13 · 2:48
I'm going to be a thinker instead. But yeah, it's overwhelming and things today I'm feeling better just because I got a lot of good replies from people and it was really touching. It's really cool. It's been so long since I've had people actually trying to have my best interest at art and total strangers would have thought. But thank you so much for your message and I'll be posting more on here and listen and see what you got on yours
Jared DeCarlo
@jared13 · 2:41
She always, like, the best mom, but she did what she could, I guess. So I'm here. I have no brothers and sisters. It's just me. So I wouldn't put my mom in a home. I just couldn't do that. I mean, I don't know. She was only 65 years old, so I came to try and help her. I don't know how much of a help I've been because she's. I don't know
Michael Smith
@mikes1648 · 2:04
But what is really there is a sensing and a knowing of your ultimate truth, which is a boundless, beautiful presence that is never born and never dies. It's there within everything around you and it is you. So go sit in nature, sit on the ground and feel that get lost in that beautifulness. That is who you are. That is your answer
Michael Smith
@mikes1648 · 3:15
But basically it's about sitting with that self and realizing that everything is perfect and it's a divine expression in all of its many ways. The tragedy and often emotional violence that comes with divorce is really kind of the way the universe brings us back to shore. And we come back and we realize that the love that we've been seeking has been us the entire time and that everything that we have ever touched has been the universe and love presenting itself
It sounds like you have a strong foundation within yourself, though stronger than I think you even realize that's going to allow you to get through this. I personally have a strong faith in God. I'm not sure where yours lie, but wherever it may be, turn to it definitively. Don't give up on it. I am a firm believer that sometimes, sometimes God answers our prayers by not answering them
Michael Benner
@AgelessWisdom · 5:00
And this feels like an opportunity to be much more real. Secular spirituality is a couple of things. It's a non religious approach to spirituality and philosophy, but it's also all religions from an overshadowing perspective. And let me just say that the thread that I hear in this thread, what links it, is this illusion that we're separate and alone, and that's the ultimate spiritual crisis
Zaire Ukuu
@zaireukuu · 4:41
And that's just accepting the fact that this is who you are, that's how you feel. It's okay to feel things. It's okay to feel sadness. It's okay to feel resentment. It's okay to feel lost s***, not knowing what to do. But the one thing that I think is, though, that really helps me, is that after acceptance is that you keep fighting. And it's not like a physical fight
But life happens and you do what you have to do to survive. Or in your case, I think it's very commendable that you came home to take care of your mum and your grandma, and then you have a totally different perspective. So I feel bad even complaining about my mom because she's healthy and she loves me. I mean, she's a difficult person, but she loves me anyway. I don't have a ton of advice
Adriane May
@Adriane · 3:33
I feel like if you try to block them or if you try to just be positive or you try to ignore them so that you don't break down, that just pushes it deep down inside of you and doesn't really take care of it and it will affect your life in so many other ways. So I think if you need to break down, then break down half a night where you just cry or you just scream
Jared DeCarlo
@jared13 · 1:42
Hey, Jess, thank you for that message. It was very, very nice to hear. Your voice is very soothing to me, very grounding, and you sounded like sounded like some of my friends and some of my family and stuff, so it's really cool to hear. But yeah, it's nice to know someone else is going through this move back home and dealing with all that all the stuff that comes up with it. It really is weird
Jared DeCarlo
@jared13 · 1:54
Thank you for your message and for reaching out like that because it really smith me and it helps because I do miss that. I'm sorry I'm going to ask for words, but thank you so much. I really appreciate it and I look forward to hearing more from you. I'll say more a little bit later. I'm just kind of taking this all in. So many responses from people. It's amazing. Thank you. Thank you again, Lorraine. Take care. Bye