You can't dance for your lover because you have shame about you. And so it all starts from that single thought. And that's where you have to begin your work. And so what I say to women is, which is what I've learned from this course I had taken, is you need to shower or take a tub, bath, whatever you do. I do showers, mostly
Hey, Dale. How are you? I love this. Well, I found it to be very inspiring and confidence giving. I really loved it. And I know you're talking to your ladies or your girlfriends, so I think, actually think that women need to be more open about their sexuality and their sensuality and express it more. And as a man, I can tell you that a guy likes a woman who it's so much easier to be with a woman who expresses her sexuality and sensuality
And so I'm on this transfeminine journey and I just feel so much more sexually liberated and in tune with my sexuality and sensuality. I look back, not that I didn't have fun in my identity as a gay man, but there was always something that felt off, something that I couldn't always pinpoint. And since I've been moving through this transition, it has just opened me up in so many freeing ways that it's hard to express with words
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 3:15
So you aren't able to have those conversations, those intentional conversations, if you aren't able to even say the words or name the body parts, even on your own where no one is listening. I talk to grown adults who can't even say name their male or female genitalia and I'm like, are you really using a different word as if you're in fifth grade? Stop. You're not in elementary school. Stop. You're grown. Don't do that
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 3:19
Hey, thank you so much for contributing to this dialogue about sensuality and sexuality. And kudos to you, especially with the background that you have growing up as a preacher's kid and your own journey of discovering your own sexual identity, preferences, sensuality. And you're right. Once you cross over and you know who you are chand what you desire in all things, this even extends beyond sex in all things
And it created a scenario where I was closed off and kind of in a box, and that actually helped my abusers to a great extent in circumstances, to continue kind of doing certain things to me because I was so afraid of myself. Chand so closed off that I allowed these other people to kind of be the ones who were leading me in the sensuality area in that arena, because I was too scared to be honest about what I truly wanted and who I really was
I love this. It's all about rewriting that inner dialogue, that inner script. That those things that we say to ourselves, and not just that, but then acting on it. And that is huge, I know, for myself, not necessarily in the arena of sensuality and sexuality, but just in confidence of who I am. And also, there's a woman, and I follow on Instagram who did this type of thing, but she did it for 365
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 4:26
And so here I am, back for participating in this session, and I share with her the experience. I said I had this situation. I said, I literally feel like this is going to sound weird, but I literally feel like I'm still out of body, like I'm existing and going about this stimulation of life, but I really feel like my soul has not like they have not come back together. And I said, it's a weird, awkward feeling
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 4:52
And when I was wearing wigs because I was not as confident about my alopecia, I was like I then paid almost upwards of $400 for this wig. Listen, you better compliment this wig. And I got more negative comments about the wig. Like, I mean and I was like, this is a nice wig. Like it's beyonce level wig. MMM. Folks won't feeling it. The moment I took that thing off and started rocking my shaved head, literally, I lie to you
Full and full of not only boxes of photos, but photo albums of family members just in all of these candid shots. And how amazing it was to look through those because I don't I don't even know how to describe it, but to to sort of visualize in my mind this sort of memory that your son is going to have of all of these different moments. Not just your son either, right? Anybody who knows you. It's really a beautiful thing. It really is
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 0:35
I'll be on the lookout for the ugly selfie swell. And matter of fact, you inspired me in this all female group I'm in that I'm a co admin for. To do that as our wacky Wednesday post for tomorrow Ugly Selfie Swells because just inspire women to love all aspects of themselves and not to be picture perfect all of the time. Thank you so much for being a source of inspiration
Oh, I love this. I hope that your group has as much fun with it as I did and that you at the very least, there's lots of laughter and that is good for the soul. So wishing you all the best and lots of fun with it
Wren .
@aBirdieOnaWire · 4:27
So as a nod to this Arabic heritage, as well as the Jew, I took these names that I had and I also wore a hijab. Yeah. And I will tell you what, I felt really sexy and whenever I went out I met with this support group of sorts. We would go to dinner and we would talk and whatever, but I went, I don't know, maybe half a dozen times I guess, wearing my hijab. And I felt really sexy
Swell Team
@Swell · 0:15
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 4:42
And I was like, well, you are a queen, so you can just mentally have that image in your head every time you walk down the hall. And usually when people are complimenting me, I'm in my mental costume. I'm in my mental costume cascading down the hall of this is what I feel like. This is the essence I am drawing from as I go about this experience. So just a nugget I wanted to share. Thank you so much for sharing