@GivingVoice
Perspectives on how we use our voice to amplify ideas and things that matter. Also @dbpardes for direct messages
Deborah Pardes
@DBPardes · 4:10
Session 7: DO YOU LET IT RIP? When the tone of frustration comes out in your voice - do you delete or post?
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I want to create space for this conversation, and I'll get very specific and very personal to bring it context, so that this isn't some theoretical conversation. I recently was using voice to text with somebody because that was the medium they chose. So instead of texting, we used our voicemails, our voices to leave voice texts, and I was personally getting frustrated about the conversation around the vaccine situation and full transparency. I'm vaccinated. I believe it's not a luxury
Obviously, if those feelings don't come out with your consent and I guess intent, then eventually they're still going to come out just without your consent or without your intent. And that's when things kind of blow up and that also is not good. I'd much rather maybe have someone not understand why I'm frustrated or maybe I guess take offense to it in some way. I'd much rather that than blow up on somebody, I think
Judy Mosley
@theJudithLife · 5:00
Yeah, this is a really good question. We can be frustrated about so many things. And even recently, it occurred to me that the frustrations aren't going way. I have a relationship that I maintain because it's very important to me that I maintain it for the health of myself and the health of this other person. But we are on complete obstacles, politically, spiritually, sometimes not. Sometimes we're right on target with each other
Deborah Pardes
@DBPardes · 2:05
And I guess what I was interested in is this very point that you both are making, which is that recognizing that we deserve to have this expressive, authentic part in social, especially in social dynamic, there is the accountability of saying, you know, what, how much can I do to not let my frustration shut the other person down when they're probably like you said, Judith is frustrated in me. So it's such an infinite loop here
Hey, I wanted to come back to this and thank you again for bringing up the topic. This is something that actually I needed to hear. I am an Uber driver, like had said before. And a big frustration point is the wait time, especially right now in my city. At least there's not a whole lot of drivers out. So generally, if you need an Uber, you're going to be waiting around 20 minutes or so
Deborah Pardes
@DBPardes · 2:03
It's so interesting to hear this in context. A B. It was really helpful keeping stuff in and then allowing it to get to that boiling point. And then it, erupts. The person who receives that eruption rarely knows on which it comes, the build up, they just take it probably profoundly personally
Jeri Wonder
@JeriWonder · 4:44
Perhaps I was joking with a friend earlier just about how the hormones as a woman play a part in how my frustrations are communicated, and sometimes they can come out really badly. But yeah, the frustrated tone is something that I am trying to just avoid, and I'm learning that putting some silence between either the person's comment to me, the last one and my response, or putting some space between my comment and the person's response
Deborah Pardes
@DBPardes · 1:33
Hey, Jeri, this is such a beautiful reminder to me about when you start a conversation like this, how it ripples out and grows into a new direction. And when you just talk about that feeling of hitting the wrong button and exploding into the world, something you didn't mean to have enter into it like, it's terrifying I've seen before, and I'm like, but the voice of text, I know it's such a subtle little button moving
Michael J.
@goatea · 2:21
Letter, rip, I love it. This is interesting. I'm doing a project in the backyard. I was thinking, Well, I could listen to the radio or I could listen to Swell. I happened to find this post from you, Deborah, and it's pretty cool. It just goes from one to the other. And I'm learning a lot. And it's really interesting to hear this expression. My experience with emotional communication
Deborah Pardes
@DBPardes · 0:52
So that's really great. And I'm so happy that this whole conversation was able to accompany you in your life. I love the flow of these things, and they just kind of not kind of that was what I met. That was what I said before, but allow the flow to go. It's really cool. So thank you for your comment and for listening in
Jeri Wonder
@JeriWonder · 4:59
Hi, everyone. I really want to say thanks for this conversation and for your responses, because it is definitely helping me to identify things that are similar and how I am receiving from others and how I am responding from others. And go tell your story about your conversations with this person who basically opposes your ideas and you oppose theirs and how you were receiving but not responding and not reacting except privately. Maybe I'm assuming something that I shouldn't assume
I struggle with that all the time, whether I sound like a rambling idiot versus just a raving lunatic because I'm so passionate about a particular subject that I'm speaking about. Where is that balance? And I think that's something that is not a silver bullet. I don't think that there's any real correct answer other than measured words are appropriate in certain settings
Deborah Pardes
@DBPardes · 0:47
You're thinking that, and the person receiving it is probably just, like, getting it all in and trying to process it, but not maybe being as hard on you as you are hard on you. But yeah, there's so many levels and nuances to this, and that's why I love exploring it. So thank you for listening and participating. Great to hear your voice
Because for some audiences being raw and unfiltered is acceptable and there's no harm, no foul. For some audiences you can let the motion show and then again, that's when the self mastery needs to step on the scene as well. Because at the end of the day any time that we engage in a dialogue there is an intention
Deborah Pardes
@DBPardes · 1:05
Hey, Crystal, thanks for invigorating this conversation again and specific to a word you chose, which I love being a conductor and I think that we imagine conducting out into the world, but there's an internal conductor we we have have in our minds. I think it's a great one to conjure up where all the emotions are kind of living inside this feeling, the emotions living inside this thought. Because sometimes when we're speaking in the heat of things, we can have a cacophony of emotions
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