Josh Colon
@Gitdown · 3:27
"The robbery—My PTSD seed"
He was jumpy. If I would have died right then, it wouldn't have been on purpose. Everything was in slow motion. I'll give you anything you want. I flew up from the mortgage lady with my hands raised in the air. I just need to get my key. I reached my pocket, but it was my car keys. My old one. Jetta, you better hurry the f*** up
I have, like, no words the way you tell her to. I mean, it's just I was I was mortified listening. I can't even imagine. I'm just, like, so happy that you're okay. That's the most important part. But how could that not stick with you? My God. I'm so sorry
And when I say okay, I mean, you know, physically. But I don't know how anyone could be okay after that, mentally or otherwise. It's as heavy. And you're so brave. When I get terrified, I cannot move. Just like your manager. I freeze. I can't take action. You're really a hero for being able to to do that
Swell Team
@Swell · 0:15
Josh Colon
@Gitdown · 2:14
Thank you for listening and thank you for your response. I'm much better. And you're right, I am better physically. It has changed me. And after that moment, I went to, like, a deep spiral, so I couldn't work there again. I kept repeating those moments. The first day I got back. They had a trauma counselor that same day. But when I went back to work the next day, they made us. I think I wanted to see it
Josh Colon
@Gitdown · 1:44
I really wouldn't call myself a hero for that. Sometimes I feel that the universe aligns to put the right person in the right place at the right right time. Maybe it's that, but I always felt that I was where I was supposed to be. Of course, you know, my military history, any kind of combat skills, which wasn't much at all in the job that I had in the military, it's irrelevant. Like, you're not supposed to attack the attacker
I've gone through some stuff in my life, and I've come around to being grateful and loving my life after years and years of depression. It's so much wasted time being it there. And I'm so glad that you made peace with this whole thing. And good luck in the future there, buddy. Good to see that you're grateful. That's where it's at
Josh Colon
@Gitdown · 3:46
So one day I will tackle that on, because it was like when these events happened, I was writing, was writing. Then when I get to the nitty gritty of the PTSD, the depression, the anxiety, I'm blocked. And it's not blocked in a good way. It's just like you just don't know how you're going to approach it. So I'm glad to meet people that can relate or have been through similar situations in different intensities, of course
So, yeah, get down. Coming out is scary. I can only imagine. But because but I know people who have come out and I believe that it's liberating and yet scary at the same time. I feel like you're still testing the waters. And I'm sorry that didn't go well with your girlfriend, but was it going to? I don't know. She's a girlfriend. Girlfriends are s*****. But anyway, yeah, free therapy
Josh Colon
@Gitdown · 4:26
This could be this guy that's just processing the scientist, the science of it all, or just very technical. It's not really getting into the you know, he sees so many people. This is much better though. The free therapy. Man, when you break down like the rapist, it is really scary ever going to a therapist again. And you're right. After the robbery, I didn't felt like I was being heard