But something happened to me that was very weird. That transpired in the process of not just my mother, but my grandma and my sister and how they were showing their affection and love for my older brother. I became jealous. I became annoyed. See, I consider myself the black sheep of the family, the nerd that was never accepted. But it's funny, when I talk with my family, they adamantly refuse this perception, this logic of mine, and will argue against it each time
Sontaia Briggs
@PKBriggs · 2:15
And sometimes I do think to myself, like, I do these things for these strangers, And I have people in my family like you that I don't speak to very often or at all. I'm being completely honest for various reasons. And it's like every now and then I have to sit with them. What does that really mean? So thank you for creating the space to just even share something like that and just being brave enough to do it
Dewuan .
@FryedOreo · 2:47
I don't talk to them. I don't speak to them about anything personal. But these are things I need to work on. And I'm thankful, Santa, someone like you was able to bear witness. And you also have your own levels of guilt with yourself that you're working on to get past. And that's what's most important is acknowledging. For only then you can know what you need to work on. May you continue to have a great Thursday
Sontaia Briggs
@PKBriggs · 0:11
We are works in progress. We are works in progress. And I hope you're staying warm. Sounds like you're outside. Peace
Charlie Floyd
@damonnomad · 4:51
I would only ask, have you considered that this manner in which it is that you behave is not something that you were born into the world with, but that it is the product of your previous experiences, especially of those who held stewardship over you, that brought you to the point where you are not willing to share deeper parts of yourselves with other people. In other words, you don't birth yourself
Dewuan .
@FryedOreo · 4:54
I guess for her it was just something that she naturally just thought was going to happen with her offspring. And this was the case with my older brother and younger sister. They doted on my mom and still due to this day in terms of assistance of food and I guess in some ways companionship even. Whereas for me I was always kind of an independent person. In a weird way, it wasn't as if my mom had raised me to be independent
Finley Ave
@finnave · 1:39
Like I've had two nieces come into the world and that I'm so grateful for and I love so much. But I have to admit, every relationship in my family has shifted since then. Not that we were the closest, but there's so much more distance between us now because they Ave held to the most important, which I understand. But yeah, that's my little still
Dewuan .
@FryedOreo · 4:49
Yes, hopefully he does have a speedy recovery, but it can be hard, right to face those demons, especially when you're around a support system that may not know those demons at Lurk. Because sometimes I feel if you surround yourself with too much positive people, you're not going to Ave a realistic view of what you Ave. And this is my family, you know, toxic as I Ave felt they were at times the truth they could provide
Finley Ave
@finnave · 1:40
And I can definitely say that, especially in my adolescence, vulnerability was very scary, and I don't think I had no my emotional intelligence was very low, I would say. And I still have a hard time getting in touch with a lot of my emotions. Like, I've gotten a lot better, but I could see where I was probably avoiding vulnerability myself because I spent a lot of time, like, Isolating as a child
Dewuan .
@FryedOreo · 4:36
Oddly enough, not that with my kids, but with my family it does feel that way. And when I think about it, growing up, my father wasn't really there much for the family either. He had his demons and stuff he was battling and all that good stuff but it's something that I just associated with. The male figure wasn't there a lot of the time. So that's kind of what became with me
Finley Ave
@finnave · 1:38
While there are so many ways I can relate to you, one being I am absolutely an introvert and procrastination is something I also struggle with. But I think what everyone should be doing with their lives, it really just depends on them and it looks different for everyone. So don't be too hard on yourself
Dewuan .
@FryedOreo · 3:38
But for me it was simply that I was not well equipped mentally to take on responsibilities said responsibilities of operating a motorized vehicle, understanding the traffic laws and obeying said traffic laws and maintaining a vehicle. This was something that I always seen that others did and the troubles that came with it. It was their plight and issues. When I was with my kid's mom at the time, I had helped finance her some vehicles in maintaining said vehicles. So I thought that was enough for me
Charlie Floyd
@damonnomad · 4:35
She was also a sister and she would alter her temperament and character regarding that relationship and she was also a niece and she would alter her character and temperament regarding that relationship as well
Professor Z
@Professor42 · 2:55
Dawan. I really quickly wanted to respond to this. Typically I do listen, as always, but this is definitely as well that I wanted to respond to. Oftentimes I can't quite find the words to respond and this resonated. I do want to say that I feel like you and I definitely have a very similar personality in some aspects and I can't really go into too much detail
Finley Ave
@finnave · 2:24
I also wanted to chime in on what Damon Nomad said that is totally relatable as far as having that power dynamic in a household, and I'm sure that many people can relate to that. I didn't really understand that's what it was until probably early adulthood, but talking to extended family cousins, it was the same way for them, which we all grew up in Mormon households, and they typically reinforced that by using Bible verses like Thou shalt honor thy mother and father
Charlie Floyd
@damonnomad · 3:40
Can't you see then that at the very center of your education is an education based on fear and false pride and false motivations, so that when you get through you'll be a twisted human being and therefore you will interject that kind of value on the population as a whole?
Dewuan .
@FryedOreo · 3:59
And it's going to be so weird when the thought of me considering driving Daunting to be a memory as I'm picking my kids up from school or coming home from a date, or making a last minute grocery shop to compliment my ultimate meal for the day and just kind of realizing that it wasn't as bad as I thought it was. And more sadly, it could have been taken care of a while ago. But it's better late than never
Swell Team
@Swell · 0:15
Krish Sehrawat
@KrishSeh511 · 0:52
Yes, I might say that word, but it doesn't show Ave one of the most kindest people on this planet because they have controlled their ego, which is a very big thing if you ask me