So I posted something a day ago and is centered around toxic positivity. And thank you once again, Izzy, for that brilliant term that that I did not know. But I preached the concept of it so often that it just is natural for me to speak about. Anyway, I posted this picture of a girl who did not look so happy and it had the usual things that people tell you. Oh, just it'll solve itself. You'll be fine
Greg Dickson
@ElasticBD · 3:49
Now it was fascinating to watch the Buddhist lab. If you had to ask this question of him, it was amazing how he was able to bring a cogent point forward that would disarm anybody and have them cause them to look deeper. Absolutely spell binding to watch. The master boat builder, on the other hand, was continuously curious. He was interested in everything. Or one time asking a question. He said, Well, that's an experiment we're doing over there
Dewuan .
@FryedOreo · 4:46
Greg, you bring up a great point. It is a very loaded question, but still an interesting one to ask nonetheless, if for nothing else, how dividing this question is today on my Instagram alone, I had three different conversations with three different people on the same subject
Shahnaz Ahmed
@bookishpodcast · 4:52
I even put a habit tracker on my little Journal and I was documenting how many hours of sleep I was getting every day and the level of, I guess, self contentment or whatever it was. When I was getting a lot of sleep, it was just I could see why. One of the factors for happiness is the amount of sleep. Now Dewuan you'd mentioned about how well, if everyone can just be happy, why won't people just do it? It's like this. Okay
Dewuan .
@FryedOreo · 4:58
I think for me a healthy person manages these emotions altogether and that is the ultimate state of being is calm, at least in my opinion. It's being calm. So you allow yourself to be happy. But you also allow yourself to be sad. You also allow yourself to be angry at times to learn from those emotions. At least that's how I perceive it to be. And this idea of especially when I hear people say like conquer fear. It's stupid to me
It's difficult to make generalized statements about good and bad because each individual has different concepts of what those are, and because they're so abstract, we can analyze impacts that come out of good and bad ideas and concepts and what goes into them. But we can't really identify the concept as a whole and come up with this kind of definition, right? Because it's so focused on individual perspectives, and those are grossly variating between people
Dewuan .
@FryedOreo · 4:59
Hey, Izzy, thank you for responding to the swell. And I thought that was a great point you illustrated with sadness. I was just speaking about this with someone the other day where there was an idea that people choose to be sad rather than happy. And if they just chose to be happy, they would be all right. And my bone of contention with that is, well, why do we experience sadness if this was something that was unhealthy for us, why experience it?
Erin Blackburn
@wolfybeth14 · 1:39
You cannot choose happiness because happiness is a product of your environment, of your internal state, external state, how your body is reacting to stimuli, how you are expressing yourself, how you are not expressing yourself. It's all of these things. So it's not something that you can just choose. It's a factor of your environment in a way, your external and internal environment. I think there are things that you can do and decisions you can make that can affect happiness. So indirectly
Rae Lahnie
@Raelah · 4:54
It will be just who we are as a person and how we view life. We will have learned the behavior and wrapped ourselves in it and we will become it. And I think with time, achieving happiness will become easier in terms of toxic positivity. I had to touch on the pedophilia or causing harm. I view that more as achieving pleasure than happiness. People can achieve pleasure and still feel shame. They can achieve pleasure and feel depression at the same time. It's not connected to happiness
Dewuan .
@FryedOreo · 1:14
Wolfie Beth, thank you so much for participating on this. Well, where we ask the hotly debated question, is is is is is happiness a choice answer. Well, although we are coming to terms with that, that biologically speaking, we cannot control our emotions or simply just manifest them when we feel like it. We can set ourselves up in great moments of opportunity to receive it. So, yes, putting yourself in a better situation and environment is a high probable factor of happiness
Dewuan .
@FryedOreo · 1:41
I'm not going to finish the rest because this is a Disney household. Daddy, you know, you're a n***** now she's hating on me because she's wild and crazy, and that's usually how it goes. But yeah, I do feel that Muji, what you doing, boy? My son is all grappling me on further review. Think happiness can be a choice, but it is definitely a choice, which requires a lot of activity
Shahnaz Ahmed
@bookishpodcast · 5:00
Okay, because in the past, when something went wrong in our lives, if there was movement in the bushes, it could mean life or death. It could mean there's an animal stalking you that could kill you. So you need to have a fear factor. The fear factor keeps you alive. Evolutionarily. However, today, if something rustle in the bushes, it's probably a cat that's just whatever. And so the fear factor to conquer your fear
Shahnaz Ahmed
@bookishpodcast · 4:20
You had your kids there and you were like, so happy about your kids being there and all of that. But I'm just going to be obnoxious and just say, let's say you were like, got all this laundry to do. I got dishes to do. I got all of this. But that also means you have kids who are coming in and you have to take care of them, right? It's all life in perspective
Dewuan .
@FryedOreo · 4:48
It's what makes me normal and sane. I don't know what I would do without it, but in other avenues of my life, I do stuff that makes me happy, but I know I can always get better, so I don't want to become too comfortable in thinking it's going to be this way forever
Shashank Shekhar
@sshekhar · 5:00
They have an awesome design behind them, because each one of those emotions is potentially a message that we can interpret and do something about it. But that underlying joy and that underlying place. What is it. And how do you achieve that? That's more subtle thing in my life. And to me, it seems like if you understand the perspective and the difference between these two kinds of happiness, other the first one becomes you take it in perspective and you see that
Shashank Shekhar
@sshekhar · 5:00
So as I was saying, if it's a simple question of like changing your attitude towards whatever is around you, and if you consciously say and accept will it whatever is happening around you, no matter how painful it appears, then you suddenly find yourself in a happy state. Now, the question is, what is the hindrance to achieving that state of accepting anything? Well, put it simply
Shashank Shekhar
@sshekhar · 3:43
And then the one thing that I wanted to go back to this, that underlying happiness of list that I was talking about, that I feel can only be achieved. So even though I said I'm going to be contracting myself here, as I said earlier, that happiness is a choice, I'm coming back to saying that it is a choice in the sense of that momentary happiness that we are seeking. And then you have to make a choice to seek that. But that underlying happiness
I would have benefited from having help in the past, or I can reconcile and commiserate with their suffering and then bring them to a place of suit, which is kind of cool. So I'm just going to share that aspect. I think that's kind of cool, that happiness doesn't have to always be considered, that it can be considered as the opposite of suffering. That might be another perspective
Dewuan .
@FryedOreo · 4:56
It's just that in that moment in time it looks effortless. So the way how I see it is when a person is ever effortless with something, it's probably something they've worked tirelessly to get to that point. As much as addicts who got clean, it took a lot of work to get them to that point, but they could enjoy themselves in a new facet of life. And I guess in a way they chose happiness, right
Dewuan .
@FryedOreo · 4:51
Whereas I'm an intuitive thinker so, I can understand why I came to this conclusion and through this analysis where you see it in the way that you see it. But I think we're all kind of saying the same thing. We're just approaching it from different angles, which is what brings about great conversation to begin with, right
Shashank Shekhar
@sshekhar · 4:59
On the other hand, if your existence is being challenged in whatever way other are your daughter coming up and saying that you are not a good father or in some other way, someone else saying, okay, you're not a good person. And in either case, that sense of self that you had is being challenged. And so it doesn't feel good
Dewuan .
@FryedOreo · 1:50
How about someone is happy at their place of business and they're happy with their income. But they work at McDonald's. Can they still be happy? But you still feel they aren't happy because they're lying to themselves as they think working at that McDonald's is what should be an aspiration to happiness. But what about that person who that same person is from another country? He's illegal immigrant and he's supporting his family