However, he doesn't see it as his issue. He sees it as the way women dress issue, and he also sees it as a christian issue altogether, as if we're all supposed to avoid the beach. And I highly disagree with him. I said to him, I can go to the beach and see a guy walking in shorts with no shirt on and I don't turn my head. I don't have to avert my gaze. I'm not going to stare this guy down
Lolita Eaddy
@Woodiemountain · 1:35
You. Hi. I think myself. I think you're right. Everything that you said is right. Because I feel as though you should be able to wear what you want to wear on the beach, you know, and feel comfortable. If you're comfortable wearing whatever it is you want to wear, you can wear it. And, you know, people like him, you know, can't control, show the urges or whatever
Erica Jean
@HeyItsErica · 3:09
Has it been since the metoo movement where guys are afraid to even look at a woman now for fear that they can be hauled off to jail? Or has he been this way since he became religious? Or has he always been this way? And finally, I was reading a poem today. I shared it on swell this morning about the human body. I was reading Walt Whitman's poem I sing the body electric, where he saw the beauty in human bodies
Angela Kaye
@AnngieKaye · 1:33
You have a daughter, you want to say, baby, don't show yourself, okay? To a certain extent, but you can't tell every random woman on the beach that they shouldn't wear that because that's for their husband. That's rude. So, yeah, we had this conversation the other day. I looked at him in a totally different light because I was like, oh, boy
Angela Kaye
@AnngieKaye · 4:32
They participate in the level of which they're comfortable. I don't wear bikinis, but that doesn't mean I'm going to look at people wearing bikinis thinking, oh, my gosh, she's lost for her husband. Should get her under control. No. And so that's why I say, this is really this guy's issue
Erica Jean
@HeyItsErica · 2:19
Hey, Anne. So what you described about those women that wear their clothing from head to toe, that reminds me of the historical black romance that I'm reading right now, where it's several degrees hot outside, like blistering. But during that time, the women, this takes place out west. They had to wear all these stockings and coats and everything. And the woman end up getting heat stroke and passing out. So sometimes you have to go with the weather and with common sense
Moe Johnson
@NeophyteSavant · 5:00
It's just something that I have. It's difficult. It can be difficult being around, like on a beach. You know what I always say? Actually, I said this one day, I was talking to a group of guys. It was a few of us and some guys, and I said, you know, going on a beach, let alone a new beach, we ain't going to talk about a new beach. Some of us are not going to be able to handle it
Andrea Piggue
@Andrea_Speaks · 4:32
He needs to talk to his pastor and have his pastor help him and pray for him in that area. But he's dealing with a lustful spirit, and that has got to be broken off of him before he'll do it. Because here's the thing. I don't know if you didn't say if he was single or married, but even if he's married, that lustful spirit, it will cause him to look at women, period
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 4:51
But again, it's about personal conviction, and we have to be careful not to push personal convictions onto other people. Like, there's some folks who should not be drinking any alcohol whatsoever. We don't know what they've come out of. Maybe they were an alcoholic. Maybe they don't know how to stop at one or two drinks
Kuuipo MeKealoha
@Werk_it_0ut · 4:17
I absolutely do believe that there needs to be self awareness and self accountability for every situation, and that we do need to know our limitations and set that aside for ourselves to be aware and to be able to know where we stand. And it's a basic human thing for me. And I do understand his stance upon religion and upon being a Christian, and that's all well and good. However, what we do need to understand, too, is that we don't control everyone else around us
Erica Jean
@HeyItsErica · 3:05
Hey, Anne, I also forgot to mention that a year or more ago, I actually did a podcast, an entire podcast that dealt with community bathing. This is something that we typically see, you know, in Japan or China, you know, the continents where they're Asians. And I see it a lot in k dramas or animes, because it's based on what they actually believe in. Not all of them do community bathing, but it's historical
Angela Kaye
@AnngieKaye · 2:34
You can't go to the beach and stay saved, I guess, because if you go to the beach, you're going to do something ungodly. Okay. That doesn't mean every Christian can't go to the beach
Angela Kaye
@AnngieKaye · 3:18
Well, maybe not him, but to minister to her. And all you can see is her boobs and you just can't focus. So there's a lot that I think brother man needs to do, and it comes from wise counsel. It comes from having God, leadership, not thinking, you know, it all. So that's a whole nother story. But like I said, no, he's not married
Angela Kaye
@AnngieKaye · 4:17
No, you can't go to the beach. I can, which is personal, which, in fact, I'm not even a fan of the beach. I just feel like I prefer to just chill in the backyard. If I really want to be outside like that. I can sit by water. It's so peaceful and calming. But packing the whole family up and going to the beach has never been fun to me because it's water, it's strangers
Angela Kaye
@AnngieKaye · 1:01
I'm literally like three or four people, older people for sure, and that's fine, probably at the age where they ain't got no problem letting it all hang out. Literally. But places like that are experiences to me, and they're pretty cool and pretty dope. But that's me. That's what I can rock with. I can appreciate it doesn't bother me, and any kind of way doesn't turn on any kind of thing
Angela Kaye
@AnngieKaye · 3:16
Then I can see why they would stop doing it. Even with the pandemic and churches being open but also having online service, the same kind of thing happens when people are like, every christian should be in church. And that irks me, because although my church was pretty much open, most of the pandemic and I still go, there are many people
Angela Kaye
@AnngieKaye · 4:23
Hi, Erica. Thanks for circling back and adding that. And, yeah, like you said at the end, if you're not equipped to handle certain areas, then stay away. It's perfectly acceptable and even commendable because why go in there and be chasing after everybody or even left it in your heart? Just stay away from it. Makes a lot of sense, the community, bathing someone on swell. Someone did a swell about turkish bathhouses, and I don't know who she was
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 3:48
And I'm like you. I'm not really into the beach like that. Like you. I don't want to have to worry about sea creatures. I got sunburnt this past summer from being out in the sun. I don't want to have to worry about being sunburnt. I don't want to have to worry about if I need to go to the restroom, if I need to do this, if I need to do that
Angela Kaye
@AnngieKaye · 2:47
But I went to go use the bathroom and this is bright sunshine. Summertime gets dark at 09:00 the bathroom was locked and the guy was right there. I think he was locked in the men's room. And I was like, oh, can you unlock this one? He's like, they're locked up. They're closed. And I was like, no, sir. I was like, the beach doesn't close until sun goes down
javon johnson
@motoblanco · 4:42
And if the other women in the group would try to tell her, look, you're doing too much. You're doing too much because you're already attractive. There's no reason to come dressed like that. But I don't know. She felt like, hey, it's my body now. I can present it the way I want
Now, I also have to say that I also don't mind going to a nude beach. I've been to a couple of nude beaches and that doesn't bother me either. A guy can walk by completely naked and it's not going to be something that even affects me. I mean, I might go, oh, wow, he's got a cute set of buns on him or whatever, but I'm not, like, oogling him thinking, oh, man, I can't wait
Andrea Piggue
@Andrea_Speaks · 4:37
Hey, Angela. Yeah, you're right. He's got multiple issues. And the Bible says that there's the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eye, and the pride of life, and it sounds like he's dealing with all of those. Sounds like he's dealing with all of those. Because the pride of life is basically that pride, right? That you know everything and you're exalted above people. Excuse me, I'm so sorry
Angela Kaye
@AnngieKaye · 4:31
It doesn't have to be. Can people wear what they want? Absolutely. But it does determine how people address us. Now, I never will ever advocate violence against any human being and things like that, but I do say if you go to the club looking like you're giving it away, then people are going to suggest that they get in line for it. Actually, one of the workshops I've run for young people is dress for success
Angela Kaye
@AnngieKaye · 3:07
Hey, Jacqueline, thanks for chiming in. Yeah. When people have any type of justification for sexual assault, like, what is wrong with these? Like, basically, you're accepting violence. Because we've been taught that sexual assault is very little to do with sex and more to do with control and violence. And it's a violent act. It's no more than, well, I shot you because you looked like you had money in your purse, so I shot you
Angela Kaye
@AnngieKaye · 3:16
And so the beach thing is what I brought to swell, but there was just other stuff. It was just like, yeah, if you listen to him, it's like, he could do no wrong. He's trying to do right, but he also could do no wrong. And from a real religious standpoint, it may sound great, but I'm hearing it as legalistic
Andrea Piggue
@Andrea_Speaks · 4:16
And so he would perceive the pastor as trying to tell him what to do, because the pastor is saying, like, you need to be delivered from that spirit brother. You need to be delivered. Right. And so he would take that as the pastor trying to tell him what to do. But this was a really good topic, though. It makes you think. And then it brings up other topics as well. So this was a really good one. Thank you
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 4:54
I'm responsible for my own triggers. Hell, my father burned to death. Okay? Burned to death like they show in the movies. Burned to death. And you know what I did the first time I saw a movie? Shortly after my father died? I was with someone. I was with the guy I was dating at the time. I felt sick inside. I had to excuse myself, and I went to the bathroom. I excused myself, and I went to the bathroom
Angela Kaye
@AnngieKaye · 4:52
My sister was in a hospice setting, my brother was in a hospital setting. Fully monitored. Doctors, nurses, the whole nine. As sad as it was to see them go, at the very least, it was. It was peaceful and not tragic. So losing someone that you love tragically, like you mentioned here, it's no joke. It's no joke. So again, my condolences to you. I thank you for sharing about your dad in that manner
Moe Johnson
@NeophyteSavant · 1:19
Hey, what's going on, Auntie Ange? So this is an old swell that you posted, I guess about a week ago and I replied, but I wanted to add something really quickly. This guy has said christians should not go to the beach. And saying that he doesn't like going to the beach because the way women are dressed, well, you know something?
Angela Kaye
@AnngieKaye · 1:27
Hey, mo, you know, you're always welcome to circle back to any of my swells. And you're correct. I mean, people, if it's warm, people are going to dress with less clothing. Point blank, simple. And I even said that to him. I said that to him. I was like, people can be in the grocery store and becoming from the beach or heading to the beach, or it's hot and they just want to wear something revealing
Kitha Larie
@chitchatwithkk · 2:04
And maybe he had a history of something. Maybe in his past he had a history where he reacted or you never know. Maybe he grew up being abused. You don't know because sometimes people block off things because it reminds them of something that is forbidden. So maybe he had premarital sex and so he doesn't want to do that again. You never know. He has his reasoning and his reasoning is his reasoning only, not mine