Ann-Gela Kaye
@DearAuntyAng · 4:40
Can you live in a different house than your spouse?
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Hi, swell people. This is Angela. So can you live in a different house than your spouse? And I didn't mean for that to rhyme, but look at that. I guess I'm a poet. You see, the graphic theater talks about people living apart. Could you live apart from your spouse? I say yes, I could. I'm not saying that I want to get married in intentionally live apart, but I understand why people do it
They're going to grow and they're going to change, and I want to be there because I need to know without words what's going on. Same thing with the kids, you know what I mean? Throw me in the deep end. And I came to get down, and I might as well save the gas because if I want to hug you and I want to hug, I don't want to have to ride all the way across town, you know what I mean?
Whatever it takes to keep a relationship going, whatever it takes to keep it healthy and secure. You know, some people some people still hold on to the spark and the fire when, like you were saying about a pilot working home, two weeks gone. Two weeks. Some people may look at a relationship like that and say, oh, he's keeping it spicy because we're like boyfriend and girlfriend. You can do some role playing there. He may never know
Ann-Gela Kaye
@DearAuntyAng · 2:46
Hi, Scribe Seven. I'm a little late in getting back to you, just getting a chance to take a break at work. So I fully understand wanting to live with someone. I do too, to be honest, I do. And I haven't lived with someone in a while. Even when my current boyfriend is over my house or at his house. That's not the same, honestly, because it's still each other's houses
Ann-Gela Kaye
@DearAuntyAng · 2:03
However, it does come with challenges and so some people just decide not to date at all until the kids are adults, which could be a long time, depending on when you became widowed or divorced. Other people could choose to date or even marry, but keep it separate for a while. So it can be very hard for kids. It can be very hard for the parents because it's hard for kids
Ann-Gela Kaye
@DearAuntyAng · 4:58
And the wife's not looking for him because she's upstairs doing whatever she's got to do in the house and it's okay. So that space, those breaks, I think people need that more than they realize. People hear break or space, I think you're immediately going to be with another person. No, you can just be going to be with God or be with yourself. So that could definitely add spice to the relationship
Moe Johnson
@NeophyteSavant · 4:46
Hi, Auntie Ange. So I'm not married. I've never been married, and I no longer want to get married. But if by any chance I change my mind, if relationship materialize, where it's a meaningful relationship, such as a monogamous relationship, I would still be more inclined to live apart. That's not something well, you know what? Before I even say that, you never know how things may turn out
Ann-Gela Kaye
@DearAuntyAng · 3:46
But the idea is like, okay, that marriage is done. All right, let's just get to the next one. And now I'm questioning Mike. Do I even really want that? And so I'm just curious if you want to just start a whole new swell topic on that, because it did pique my interest. So thanks for chiming in, as always. Definitely appreciate your contributions
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 4:28
I mean, I don't know, is this a modern thing where now in modern relationships, we need to live apart? I know you had given the example of military families, but in some of these examples, these families aren't living apart voluntarily. They have a spouse who's deployed, and they're living apart by choice
Ann-Gela Kaye
@DearAuntyAng · 3:09
I think they just kind of decided to cohabitate for the last 40 years. Mike literally maybe longer than that. But, yeah, he lives on one floor, she lives on the other. I guess they eat dinner together. I guess some nights they sleep together, or maybe they get together for intimacy. And then he goes to his room, his whole apartment, and she goes to hers. And apparently it works out. They both second marriage
Moe Johnson
@NeophyteSavant · 5:00
And because I don't smoke, because I don't get high, because I don't drink and I never did, I never did anything. So it makes it even more difficult to deal with because I don't really know how this is new territory for me. I don't know. Even in therapy there was an acknowledgment that she has a problem. Even when I recorded her behavior, she laughed at it
Swell Team
@Swell · 0:15
Ann-Gela Kaye
@DearAuntyAng · 2:05
You're. Hello there, neophyte savant. I think I said it correctly. One, I'm just like, wow, listening to your story, my heart breaks for you. And not that you were looking for sympathy, I get it, but it's just like, wow, your situation definitely is difficult, and I hear you on that and sorry that you have experienced that and probably still are, because obviously you guys have a kid together, so sorry about that
So basically, they did their own healing before they met each other, so that when they got together, all they had to do was learn how to live with each other in the same space. And so I just offer that to you because you seem like just a positive motivating force and you have so much to offer. You can have a successful, loving marital relationship, but you just got to learn how to pick better. So I offer that to you
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