He may not be 6ft tall, he may not make six figures, and he may not have a six pack, but he's a good man and so I think that's one part of it. Now, with that being said, if a woman gets the attention of a man who is extremely attractive or extremely successful, should she see that as a red flag because she doesn't qualify and she should have known, or we should know because not about visa, but any woman should know
Evelyn Phipps
@LadyFi · 4:02
Now, on the flip side of that, someone is super fine, wants to date somebody super fine that can look good on their arm and can be eye candy for them and want other people to be jealous or envious of them because they have someone on their arm that looks really good. But who's to say, because beauty is in the eye of the beholder, you can find a really rich man and his heart would be in all of it
Erica Jean
@HeyItsErica · 4:37
It seems like the message is being sent that if we are not young enough, thin enough, or look like we fell from the planet Venus, then we're not deserving of love. That's a very strange and dangerous message to send out. And I'm sure this works the other way around, too, where you have average women who are aiming high for men who may be out of their lane. Okay. But as with anything, there are different instances where there's exceptions
Swell Team
@Swell · 0:15
Angela Kaye
@AnngieKaye · 3:56
And I think they give into that a lot of times. It's not about love. It's not about the heart. But how does it look? How does the whole package look? And I can even say that about some of our professional ball players. You love who you love, right? We talked about interracial dating, but I do believe that some men feel like once you've arrived, you're in the NFL, you're in the NBA, you need the whole aesthetic
Angela Kaye
@AnngieKaye · 4:23
But also, some women turned down really good men because they're waiting for the superstar. And I'm like, listen, the people that are attracted to you is kind of a clue of your lane. So date from this pool the people that are interested in you, instead of dissing all of them and hoping to find some unicorn somewhere. If these are the people that are coming to you, this is your pool of options, and that's okay, too
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 4:45
Hey, this is a great conversation. I know the idea of quote unquote qualifying came from the Kevin Samuels era and how he would tell women you have to qualify for these high value men based on their preferences. So now that has become part of every conversation. There's a swell I'm going to do tomorrow on a clip that went around this weekend of a woman who is 33, has seven kids, is single, and asks an honest question
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 4:55
For the most part, 98% of the time, it should roll off your back because you're confident in how you are and who you are and how you show up. And so if one has a problem with their weight, and I heard one clip where she says she had a problem with, well, if you have a problem with your weight and there's nothing else medically going on with you, then do the work to lose the weight
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 4:56
When it first started in my late twenty s, I was devastated because I had very clear skin as a teenager to the point that I would beg God for acne. Well, it came later. He answered my prayers later to the point that I have adult acne. When I first was diagnosed with adult acne, I just eventually stopped. About four years ago, I was just like, I'm tired of going through this process. It's disheartening, it's weary
Blair Redmond
@blairbearing · 3:44
It's just simply not true. I refuse to run with it. I know it's not true. I had single parents and they dated. Granted, it was a different time. So if you're trying to date someone who's following all these trending ideas on dating in quote unquote, modern romance as they're labeling it, then, yeah, it's not going to end well for you
Angela Kaye
@AnngieKaye · 3:28
Hey, Tanya, thanks for chiming in. You're so correct when you say a lot of the people that are single are the biggest ones giving advice out here or critiquing what somebody deserves. I guess it makes them feel better about who's not picking them. They'll just pick on everyone else who isn't getting picked either. And picking on them is exactly what they're doing. I've said it before, are the biggest bullies
Angela Kaye
@AnngieKaye · 2:20
It's her second marriage for both of them. She's in her 40s. She is not skinny by any means. She's got two kids and is about to get married to a wonderful man of God. This is the reality of life. It's not the podcast life. And so who people think qualifies for whom? I get it. Yes. A 30 year old bachelor millionaire is probably not going to be checking for me. 46 year old single mom. I get it
Angela Kaye
@AnngieKaye · 3:44
And it wasn't like, well, she couldn't expect to get an ep, so she should have known that those words are just downright cruel. And yeah, you were hating on her. Listen, everybody now is like, listen, I got a story to tell. I got a story to tell, too. I wrote a whole book that's biographical in nature
Shawna Kearsley
@OnAcornBay · 5:00
This is how you want to come out. Hey, it's on you. I don't take responsibilities for how you look. I don't feel how that person's style is a reflection on me. Is it? It's their style. But a lot of folks have had issues with that part of my dating world and they've voiced their opinions. And I also think that that's kind of wow. Like, really, folks come out and say that you can do better
Luce Fonrose
@ilovelucee · 4:35
He feels like the fact that, you know, that you're bigger makes you, in a sense, I guess, settle, because for you, it's all about wanting to get married and starting a family as soon as possible. Because you're looking at it like, okay, my options are probably not very vast, and this is what I'm desiring. So because this is what I'm desiring. I'm just going for whoever. And she does take accountability
Angela Kaye
@AnngieKaye · 4:14
So, no, I didn't watch the show and hear his comments or the respect. But thank you for bringing into perspective what he said is still kind of along the lines, but he did take it from a different angle. Right. He said it gives big back energy. Like, she probably felt like she wasn't qualified for love, as opposed to saying, well, she should have known better because she's big. So that makes sense with you bringing it into that perspective
Luce Fonrose
@ilovelucee · 2:50
For people to say that her standards should have been realistic, look at her size. Look at how she looks. That's so messed up. How many times have we seen celebrities, like gorgeous celebrities, go after people who you're probably like, I wouldn't have pegged you for this. I would have thought that you would have went after somebody that was gorgeous, too, and looks so good, too. And that's not what we see
Kitha Larie
@chitchatwithkk · 4:57
I mean, I had it happen just this week. But as you get older, guess what we see? We fat. We know we fat. We don't need nobody to tell us that. It's kind of a joke when people say, well, you're fat. I'm like, yeah, because I already know. You didn't tell me nothing. I didn't know. So you thought you hurt my feelings, boo. No, you did not. I see me
