Are You Brave Enough to Feel Disappointed?

Living disappointed feels like it's a whole sentence of life. I want to kind of play with this a little bit, but I don't want to dig too deep into it before I hear any other voices. So if you can look at this quote and meditate on a little bit with me and think about what it means, I'd love to be messy with you, for sure. I also am inviting a practitioner, Anita Anand, who is somebody who works with this language a lot

Better to feel it than to live defined by it? #brenebrown Welcome Anita Anand https://anita-anand.com/

Rehan Shah
@ririshah · 0:49
I love the code. It makes a lot of sense. Too many people in the world who decide to live disappointed are in risk feeling disappointment. I mean, I'm okay personally, I'm definitely one of the people who would risk of feeling disappointment and take that chance. But I understand why the other half comes from two because okay
Bowie Rowan
@bowie · 0:58
But I definitely feel like it's a continual process and I still find myself very much fearing disappointment and sometimes going to slightly absurd and comical lengths to try to avoid it. So I'm really looking forward to hearing more about this and also other people's stories because this is near and dear to my heart for sure
Swell Team
@Swell · 0:15

Welcome to Swell!

Anita Anand
@Anand · 5:00
We're already thinking about what people will say, what people will do, how they will respond. And right there, that's the trap, because we are basing our expectations on something that we can't control. We can't control what people will think, what people will feel, how people will respond. And so the movie in our mind is wonderful. It's absolutely spectacular. But the problem is no one else knows their parts
Deborah Pardes
@DBPardes · 1:09

@Anand

Anita, so great to hear your voice. When I was listening to you, I was thinking about this connection between our disappointed ourselves in a moment, feeling disappointed by something that didn't work out, and we blame ourselves. And then there's the other side of this that I want to talk with you about, which is the idea of disappointing somebody else
Anita Anand
@Anand · 3:20
And it's one thing to be betrayed by the world, and it's a completely different thing to keep betraying ourselves by wanting to take care of other people's needs or saving them disappointed. And that's the work I do with my clients all the time is inviting them into that arena of courage where they choose themselves and what's important to them over choosing to take care of someone else's feelings
Deborah Pardes
@DBPardes · 0:50

@Anand

Courage over comfort is one of the best phrases that I was exposed to when I started reading Renee Brown because it really all the time. But usually it is. And I love how you fold that into to this lesson here because this is the Brene Brown inspired channel station. Station. I wanted to ask you to tell us a little bit about your work as a facilitator of brunette's work and tell us a little bit about that program and how you are exposed to it
Anita Anand
@Anand · 3:11
And all of that information can be found on the Brene Brown hub. You can find me on the Dare to Lead hub as a certified facilitator for the work and also on the Daring Way website as a surprise certified facilitator for Brene's work in both Daring Way, Rising Strong, and also ten Guide posts for Wholehearted living
Deborah Pardes
@DBPardes · 1:32

@Anand

And I asked this because so many people can relate to the rock bottom, but not all of us can relate to the pivotal moments as being ones that really birth a new form of ourselves. And I think it sounds like you really went and had to do some deep digging and come forward with who you are now and the convictions that you followed
Anita Anand
@Anand · 1:57
So I think that pivotal moment for me would have to be the day I decided to choose myself over relationship, over comfort, over pleasing people, over performing perfecting. Pretending that pivotal moment for me was when I chose me before anything and anyone else. What I realized and I say this to my clients as well is that when we choose to honor ourselves, we automatically honor the world because we cannot give to others what we cannot give to ourselves
Deborah Pardes
@DBPardes · 0:29

@bowie

Hey, Bowie. You know, I'm really curious about your connection disappointment. And I really get it from a place of just pure grit and what happens to us during these times. And I was just talking with Anita about this, about pivotal moments. And I'm wondering if you can share with us a disappointment that you live through, that you can reflect back on and say, wow, that was intense. And here you are to tell about it
Bowie Rowan
@bowie · 4:54

@Anand @DBPardes Choosing disappointment

Anand, I had several conversations with mentors and people I admired about this because it was very difficult to Pardes through what I wanted, because what was starting to feel like the right decision in support of my writing and my values was the decision that felt like a very big disappointment and loss because it wasn't in line with my original vision and that I think is a really complicated kind of disappointed because it's not like the disappointment I normally think of where someone else's actions or rejection or something like that happens
Deborah Pardes
@DBPardes · 2:03

@bowie

I feel that moment when I made that decision and the unknown of what if I didn't. But also the resolve to do it was a relief. And I think that is a universal thing right from everything. When you resolve, there's a relief
Vanshika Garg 010
@Garg_vanshika07 · 0:20
Somewhere. People try to make others disappointed because they want to take some revenge to know the jealous and don't know what they think. But they do that