And what magic do you need to have in your little bag of tricks to connect to people? And you don't really want it to be an effort, but sometimes you have to kind of take some risks and be vulnerable and make an effort
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 1:36
This is a good one. Deborah I will stay tuned for when he chimes in and when others chime in, because this is an area that I struggle with professionally. Personally, not so much. And I know I've said on this platform before that I am an introvert. If you ask people who are still getting to know me, we're on that journey of getting to know one another. They hear that and they'll say, I'm surprised you are an extrovert
Brian Miller
@brianmiller · 4:52
We don't have the same creative or collaborative culture that we do when we're not physically present. And I think there's something about being in person, sharing physical space together that is, in many ways, I think is often less efficient. It's less, quote unquote, productive, depending on how you measure productivity. Like, if you're elon thinking of productivity as an engineer, then being in person might be more productive
Brian Miller
@brianmiller · 4:48
And I'm guessing that so many of the extroverts in your office pick up on that and they actually feel understood by you, or feel seen or feel heard in a way they don't usually, which is where they can cross the line and accidentally end up oversharing, which you're going to, of course, interpret as drama or a distraction. None of that I just said was a solution. But I think it's an interesting place to start as an understanding of what's happening
Deborah Pardes
@DBPardes · 2:16
What I'm discovering in Asynchronous conversations in the last couple of years on Swell is something that is equally valuable because I listen to you and I can interrupt you, but I'm not necessarily thinking about what I'm going to say next because I have the luxury of time. So then when I choose to say something, I've I've said it fully in my own present tense, thinking of it. I didn't have to think about it while I listen to you
Brian Miller
@brianmiller · 4:59
I use voice messaging apps with my team, and we do this right asynchronous just as a team, and it works. But then once a week, we get on a call and we have a real time conversation so that we can just spit stuff out and figure things out in the moment and risk offending each other or rubbing each other the wrong way and going, no, that's not what I meant. And there's value in that too
Deborah Pardes
@DBPardes · 1:49
I'm walking in what I call cold weather in Los Angeles. You would laugh, probably. When you help people do preparation for a Ted Talk, which I know you're really good at, that's what you do. How do you help people create an atmosphere where people don't feel talked at, where they don't feel like they're looking at a monologue on stage and they could just like, go, I could be here and not be here
Brian Miller
@brianmiller · 3:39
And if you can move over the course of your presentation from speaking with this person to speaking with that person to speaking with her at the back and then him at the front, if you can, over the course of your presentation, carry on a one to one conversation with individuals, the entire audience will feel that connection. And amazingly, that translates through the screen
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 4:56
So when I have my one on ones with my leader, and I actually had a one on one with her VP because she just transitioned to a new VP, I even said that when she was like, give me a snippet about you. And I said, hey, I'm one of these people. I'm an introvert. I don't compete for airtime
Brian Miller
@brianmiller · 4:35
Actually in the decision making process and being able to voice your concerns or your opinions or your insights in a one on one environment because you're more likely to be heard there than in a group setting where somebody running the meeting is in a leadership position. They've got a lot of ego, they've got a whole room of people looking at them and they're going to shut down anything that disagrees with them to maintain their status. Remember, people are motivated by status more than almost anything else
Swell Team
@Swell · 0:15
Brian Miller
@brianmiller · 1:24
And so for me, as a really outgoing extrovert who's used to just talking to everybody, I found that people were a little bit they were like strangers in line at coffee, were less willing to have a random conversation with me than they were. Or at least they needed more opening up, or there needed to be a little bit more of a lead in a warmer introduction. I couldn't just start a conversation the way that I used to