@Cosbyal4165
Al Cosby
@Cosbyal4165 · 4:05

Setting the Bar

But at the end of the day, when you're really getting to know somebody, I mean, you should pretty much try to be on the same accord with each other. Not necessarily be equal, but more so, you're getting to know each other. So even if things don't go as planned, or even if you decide it's like, you know what is not for me, best of luck in your search and vice versa, then that's fine

Too high - Too low

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@HeyItsErica
Erica Jean
@HeyItsErica · 3:56

#ThankYouForThisTopic

I don't think I started thinking about setting bars or anything like that until I started hearing a lot about it, or reading a lot about it in magazines and also seeing it currently in social media. But I've been married for almost 15 years, so I don't really go to the spaces where people typically talk about dating or setting bars and everything like that. But I can say this
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@Cosbyal4165
Al Cosby
@Cosbyal4165 · 2:52

@SoulJourney1K

Like when you have certain notches under your belt and you have certain accomplishments, then it's okay to set the bar. So the only thing that I will say is if you do go out with somebody and vice versa, it's okay to set the bar in a sense where it's like I expect to be treated with respect, I expect to be told, talk to like I'm a human being
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@Swell
Swell Team
@Swell · 0:15

Welcome to Swell!

@HeyItsErica
Erica Jean
@HeyItsErica · 1:50
And that's because, again, some relationships are based on superficiality and not very good communication and just shaky expectations. And you're right, we should have some expectations and certain expectations of each other. And I've always stood by that because even though I didn't have a bar, maybe I did have a bar of expectations. The guy certainly couldn't be someone who was abusive or belittled people and someone who was driving for something. So the person had to be someone who's driving for something
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@Cosbyal4165
Al Cosby
@Cosbyal4165 · 2:17

@SoulJourney1K

They don't know about courting or a lot of other things of that nature. I know we're not living in the but at the same time, again, it's about getting to know people for the right reasons and not necessarily going in with the Notarian motive. And that's why a lot of things crash where it's like not even relationships now. And interestingly, more so now it seems like the new marriage is more so either common law or partnership, which is actually the same thing
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