@Br33zy
Braxxton Brown
@Br33zy · 3:37

4am khronicles…

And so I was reading that and just the way that just knowing that not just him, but knowing that there are people out there, him included, that go through wanting to be forgiving but finding it difficult too, but still finding a way to forgive anyway or to think positive when it's harder to go from thinking negative and things like that

Forgiveness….

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@everythingjay
Everything Jay
@everythingjay · 3:34
And that's not for me with everybody because it's hard for me to even be interested romantically in people and really like them a whole lot. So when I do, I just cling on for dear life. But yeah. So when you mentioned to me about enjoying that moment, how I started to cope with mine, with guys that I felt like I liked a lot and it was new is, I would just enjoy thinking about those moments
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@Br33zy
Braxxton Brown
@Br33zy · 4:56

@everythingjay

Lighthearted you know? And if anything, that I would think that that would bring them closer because you're not bringing a certain energy based off of assumptions because you didn't interact with them. Does that make any sense? I feel like I said that kind of fast. Hold on, I'm getting a call. Hold on. D***. I work from home and I got a call, and that was an important call. I actually worked with somebody
@everythingjay
Everything Jay
@everythingjay · 4:54
But when I was younger, I did not see displays of relationships in my household. It was me, my mom, my sister, and my grandmother and my little brother. I never really saw displays of relationships. All that I learned was from the older women in my neighborhood, and they were like, sleeping around with the same people. Like literally sleeping around with each other in a circle. It was no displays of actual relationships. Right. So I'm learning all this stuff from rom.com
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@Br33zy
Braxxton Brown
@Br33zy · 4:07

@everythingjay

And also with the whole relationship thing, I'm not a date around kind of person. I don't feel like I need to be with multiple people. Once I'm into someone, I'm in it for, like, I'm thinking forever. So I haven't had a lot of relationships because I just don't see myself just being with all types of people. I want to have the longevity with somebody. I just want to have that one person, like you said
@blairbearing
Blair Redmond
@blairbearing · 4:39
It's like I don't want to say fill your time, but it's like we have to have our own lives outside of the life that we want to have with our future partners. And like, that's hard because all we want is a future partner. All we want is someone to do everything with right now. So I understand that 1000%. Another thing that I do when I get into relationships and I do like someone, but I'm also like an empathetic person
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@everythingjay
Everything Jay
@everythingjay · 4:56
And I'm thinking, like because my grandma had a lot of relationships when she was younger. But I was curious to know why my grandma was single, why my mom was single. Right. It was, like, starting to be, like that curiosity. And I think that's why I moved out with somebody so young. And then I would have, like, family that I was close to that just made it seem like something was wrong if I wasn't seriously dating anybody
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@Br33zy
Braxxton Brown
@Br33zy · 4:57

@blairbearing @everythingjay

But I'm learning now that I can't just give all of that freely as much as I would just want to. I just can't give all of that freely. And I think that's what coincides with the fact that I go through what I go through with relationships. And I'm sure there's more, but this is going into five minutes, and I want to see what else I have to say
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@blairbearing
Blair Redmond
@blairbearing · 3:44

@Br33zy @everythingjay

Good evening. I love both your messages. Once again, I'm learning this app still. So today I would say I want to be dating like you and uncle. I'm not dating right now, and I'm perfectly fine with that. I knew some attractive people in my family too. I always wondered why they were single. And I still have some of those questions
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@Br33zy
Braxxton Brown
@Br33zy · 4:02

@blairbearing

And I feel like with the stuff that we're talking about, it can definitely help people like us. And like I said before I even got on this app, I didn't even realize that people were going through the same thing I was going through
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@everythingjay
Everything Jay
@everythingjay · 4:19
And I feel like also there's a lot of things and a lot of physical personality traits that makes them perfect for it. It seems like being resilient when people say things that bothers you, being able to be disappointed repeatedly and still show up. And I'm just naming on things that I struggle with that they may be good at. I'm good at closing people out, but they're not question why I'm single. Right
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@everythingjay
Everything Jay
@everythingjay · 4:28
Now getting into green leaves respond. I love how you mentioned observing someone who was raised by a single mom that's married because my best friend had to tell me this about his wife. No, her mom never been married because I was really feeling cursed, I'm not going to lie. And my best friend was one of the only people that I felt that I could share of that with without judgment because I hate feeling weak
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@Br33zy
Braxxton Brown
@Br33zy · 4:59

@everythingjay

Whereas if you see me going through these things and I'm gathering, then maybe I'm more like you. You're just better at showing a thicker skin. Help me not end up in those feelings in those positions that you are in. Because one thing she told me, she was like the reason I tell you things is not because I know everything is because I've experienced it. So again, in my mind, these are things that you can tell me you've experienced
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@Swell
Swell Team
@Swell · 0:15

Welcome to Swell!

@blairbearing
Blair Redmond
@blairbearing · 5:00

@Br33zy @everythingjay

BRZY, you were talking about how your mom goes and sees a mental health provider, but yeah, I know all about that. My dad's family, people who take depression. I'm on depression men, but I'm not depressed. And it's just like just be honest. I had a cousin who died from alcoholism, and everyone doesn't want to say what it really was
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@blairbearing
Blair Redmond
@blairbearing · 4:46
But I got out of a toxic and abusive relationship, and it kind of did a number on my mentals in ways that I definitely wasn't prepared for because I have the tools and experience and the knowledge. But there's still the grieving process that we have to go through. So in terms of time, I love the concept of the concept of people are like, we're romanticizing our lives
1
@Br33zy
Braxxton Brown
@Br33zy · 4:48

@blairbearing

Like, I went into the live stream and I told them earlier this week that my birthday was coming up and the fact that as soon as I came in there AB three, happy birthday. Little things like that mean a lot like little things like that. Just the acknowledgment. Instead of me saying saying, hey, it's my birthday, the fact that I just went into, like, a room and hey, b three, happy birthday
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@Br33zy
Braxxton Brown
@Br33zy · 4:23

@blairbearing

That tells me from a spiritual standpoint, because I've listened to other spirit sessions that the dude has done, you can tell when somebody has a relationship with a higher power. And you can tell those that are kind of lost because there will be a few on there. And they're like, I've just kind of been here for a few days and I see people passing me by, but I don't know where to go
1
@everythingjay
Everything Jay
@everythingjay · 2:45
It is multiple films and multiple TV shows where you have the married couple, you have the single friend that's super awesome and super attractive. But the whole group of friends can't figure out why they can't find anybody and they keep telling them that they're so awesome and they should be with somebody and I'm like, oh my God, am I the single friend? Like years ago I'm like, oh my God, am I that person?
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@everythingjay
Everything Jay
@everythingjay · 4:45
But it's like, you got to be confident in yourself. Because I could tell people how long I've been single. They like, whoa, whoa. And it's like, wait, what is the time frame that you're supposed to jump from one to the other? Is it like if you go past six months, you're pushing it a year? What is the time frame that you think that that's a problem?
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@blairbearing
Blair Redmond
@blairbearing · 4:16

@everythingjay @Br33zy

My mom did not have a good relationship with their mom, so how is she ever going to learn how to be a mother right then and there? My dad, on the other hand, was the oldest of many children and was always used to being in a parental role and just used to always taking care of business. But he showed his love in ways like providing a roof over our head and having food on the table and clothes on her back
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