Exploring, talking about and discovering our sexuality can be challenging, confusing and potentially even lonely, to say the least. But people like creator Cody Daigleorians are making it a little better every day. Cody is the creator of Ace Dad Advice, a social media based Asexuality education project designed to support young people exploring Asexuality as an identity and anyone questioning their sexual orientation. The project provides clear, approachable information on Asexuality
Bowie Rowan
@bowie · 0:36
Cody. I am such a fan of your work. So I was thrilled to see that you have a book coming out for those who are maybe just discovering what you do and your story. Could you say a bit about your personal journey with Asexuality and how you came to create a stat advice and now your book IMACE. Is this book something you've wanted to write for a long time, or has the whole process been a surprise along your journey?
Bowie Rowan
@bowie · 1:10
In my own experience as a queer person, I've often felt that the way we put boundaries on our identities or relationships is a failure of imagination. Failure in general is something I'm really passionate about thinking about, because embracing what's seen as a cultural failure can really be an act of resistance. I love how you're working resists easy and binary ways of thinking. For example, one of your recent instapos I think it was just today that I saw that
Bowie Rowan
@bowie · 0:20
Swell has a really lovely international community of readers and writers. Looking back at the process of writing this book, what advice might you give to someone about approaching the book writing process? I'm curious what you've learned that might be useful for those who are inspired by your book and want to share their own story
Bowie Rowan
@bowie · 0:38
Outside of your work as an asexuality educator and writer, I'd love to know what else you're currently obsessed with, whether it's a new book, a moment in history, gardening, who knows what else is currently preoccupying your mind and heart, and are there any other projects that we can look forward to seeing next from you
Cody Daigle
@CodyDO · 2:49
I'm a bit late to the party when it comes to asexuality. I didn't come out as an Ace person until I was 42 years old. I'm 46, almost 47 now, and it has been a really interesting time in my life to kind of like reassess and re understand myself as an adult, to rethink myself as an Ace person after most of the time thinking I was just sort of like a broken gay person
Cody Daigle
@CodyDO · 3:06
Something that I have observed is that ace, folks, when we don't measure up to these, like, normative expectations that exist for us in the world or in relationships, we often just place the blame on ourselves in some inadequacy. In us and believe that that is where that failure is occurring and that we are, like, not measuring up to the imagination of the world
Swell Team
@Swell · 0:15
Cody Daigle
@CodyDO · 2:49
While I was very specifically being thoughtful and writing to a certain audience and making sure that I was aiming the work at that group, I really was writing to my 18 year old self, and I was writing the book I needed. And if no one ever picked up the book, just writing this book would have been enormously helpful because it reached its audience. Write like nobody's reading. Write the story of your heart. Write the book that you need. Write the book that you want
Cody Daigle
@CodyDO · 3:14
And so instead of being able and having to go out into the world and find a relationships book that you have to translate to Ace and Arrowness, I'm hoping to create a book that will speak directly to our experience and our needs and our concerns so that there's no calculus that has to be done to translate it
Bowie Rowan
@bowie · 2:46
Lastly, I just wanted to say one of the things that I so admire about your work and your story is it's just a reminder to me that there is no timeline and one of the gifts of queerness is being able to make your own rules. And I think something that your story reminds me of is that there's no right or wrong time, really to come out or to more deeply understand ourselves and that it's okay if our relationship to our identity and sexuality continues to evolve or change