Ayishah Hasni
@ayishah.hasni · 1:28
"Thunderstorms" (Poem)
So I'll talk a little bit about the inspiration behind this poem. I just kind of wanted to use it to practice my description and writing sensory details, which is why I talk about the mosquito and the rain against the window and the cat growling. But, yeah, there's also a little bit. The theme is about kind of appreciating what's around you? All the little beautiful things. It was kind of a night of observing when I wrote this, so I would love some feedback
Neha M
@neha_munje · 0:53
Those days where you stay and just kind of observe your surroundings or just like, different sounds and feelings that are like happening around you are really awesome. I like doing that when I go on walks or bike rides sometimes where I just like, I don't like music. I don't do anything. I just kind of like, sit in the environment that I'm in, and this poem captures it really well
Tim Ereneta
@Tim · 1:28
And I used to do creative writing, and I hated editing, but here's what I wonder. I wonder if you could look at it with the lens of is every word or every phrase doing enough work. But if it's not doing any work, get rid of it. See if the poem works, if you remove the unnecessary verbiage. Just an exercise to play with. Who knows if it will be helpful or not. Anyway, I hope to hear more from you. Bye
Swell Team
@Swell · 0:15
Areej Khanotia
@Areej.k · 0:47
I love, love, love this. Oh, my God. I don't even, like, listen to the other responses yet because I just wanted to get this out, like, raw before. You know what I mean? It was so beautiful. Like, I love the sensory detail thing you were going for. It really paints a picture in my mind, you know, like, as a visual learner, I could really, really see what you were seeing that day
Oh, my God, that was beautiful. And like, the rain you played in the back. You don't really said it makes sense because it's like, about thunderstorms. So like, of course, you're going to play like rain noises in the back. But like, like you said, working on your description. That was very descriptive, very descriptive. I liked it and keep up the good work because that was beautiful