It's. Y'all, can we just have a real, real conversation right now, a real discussion? And I don't care what your relationship status is. I don't care who you are. I want to hear your thoughts, because here's what I'm thinking. Here's my late night musings. I think that all the time people say that phrase, absence makes the heart grow fonder. But what about the phrase absence makes the heart grow stronger?
Renee Slay
@Renee_Slay · 1:11
But we all know how mama slay can pick them. But yeah, this is a good topic. Definitely always dodged a bullet. And definitely we don't know the plan, but it's bigger than what we think. And it is to the highest and best good of everyone involved. I've seen proof. A lot of proof. So definitely dodged a bullet. Whoo. Like a big one
Nidhin George 🔷
@geo_rhymes · 3:25
If I were to look at it from the positive construct, and I say absence makes the heart grow stronger, I'd like to imagine I'm talking about a situation where I'm physically absent from someone I love, and then my heart or my feelings, my love for the other person, is growing stronger over a period of time
Glenn Mann
@GlennPriceMann · 2:17
And now, you know, because of absence, because of distance, the heart has grown stronger and has grown smarter. So thank you for this conversation. I really love it
When I think of the phrase absence makes the heart grow fonder, there's two things that come to mind. One is, what is the timeline? And the other is what definition are we using for fonder? Because when you are in a relationship with somebody, or it's a friend or family member, or what have you, and you don't see them for a period of time that's not long, however one wants to define that, you do grow fonder, you miss them, right?
Carly D
@Astroality · 1:39
And I guess we have to appreciate ourselves for evolving to that point where it's like, yeah, no, I'm okay without you. It doesn't hurt to breathe or whatever, right? It's so crazy how we can heal ourselves to a place where you're like, yeah, this just isn't for me anymore, and you can totally walk away. It's just so crazy
Carly D
@Astroality · 2:44
It's I can be very rewarding, right, to have absence, because you realize what someone actually brings to your life. And I think the thing is that it also makes you appreciate them. It makes you value them on an even greater and deeper level, right? Because you realize that not having someone in your life can make things more difficult. And I think it can also be both, right? It can make you stronger and it can make your heart grow fonder
Carly D
@Astroality · 1:50
And I just appreciated the fact that you really highlighted for me that it's not about does it grow stronger or does it grow fonder or does it grow smarter? It's like, basically all three. And your heart is always going through these evolutions, right? These changes, these growths. Well, hopefully, right? I mean, some people stay stuck and stay stagnant, and I guess some people pine over people for their entire lives, and that is sad
Carly D
@Astroality · 3:39
And I think that when you turn that corner, when you really become okay, when you're really like, whoa, it doesn't destroy me to see that person. If I run into them at the grocery store, if I see them out with someone else, it doesn't break me, right? I'm not in the corner crying or crying in my car or whatever, right? When you hit that mark, it feels good and it also makes you feel so proud of yourself
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 2:12
I think when you walk away from a situation like that, then your heart can grow stronger so that when you see the person next time, you're not all focused on the good memories or trying to erase the bad memories of this person, but you can see it from a sober point of view. So yes, the heart can grow stronger if you're willing to be sober and realistic about the situation in whole and not just remembering and reflecting on the parts you love the most
When you mentioned having to make that hard decision sometimes to walk away. But then the feeling on the other side of it, it made me think of this quote someone told me about once about harder decisions, easy life, easier decisions, harder life. And I've really found that to be true. So sometimes when I'm tempted to make the easier decisions, I'm like, is that really where I want to go?
Swell Team
@Swell · 0:15
Renee Slay
@Renee_Slay · 2:58
It is. I agree with you completely. It's nuts that you can go. I'll say this, I was with my children's father for four years before we got married and together and married for eleven, so I still have to see him. And initially there was that pain and anger and rage and just like but to finally get to that spot where it's not even anger, because sometimes we'll feel the hurt. It's like you guys are stages
Carly D
@Astroality · 2:21
And you just see them and you're just like, oh, yeah, it's no one who's that? It's no one. Because it just isn't there just isn't anything there anymore. It's so strange how that life works out that way. And then when you feel that sense of completion and you're like, no, this is just done. It was just a weird phase in my life
Carly D
@Astroality · 3:02
You, sister. Thank you so much. I appreciate the rambling more than you know, because that happens to me so often. Like, I'll have a goal, I'll have a concept, I'll have a thing in mind that I want to discuss. And then I just take it into a whole nother offshoot, but I totally believe that it's meant to happen
Carly D
@Astroality · 3:08
What do I know not to accept going forward? What do I intend to experience going forward? All those things. And I think that self evaluation process is crucial to really, truly, honestly moving on. And if you don't embrace that part, if you don't participate in that part, you just don't ever get over it. So I appreciate your perspective. It was really important. It really struck a chord for me. I really needed this today. I appreciate
It. Wow, that is so true. I definitely agree that apps makes the heart stronger. There's been so many situations, and I run into a lot of ex boyfriends lately, and I'm like, oh, my gosh, I so dodged a bullet on that one. So this is definitely a great topic of conversation and food for thought, and it is so true. I hope you're having a good evening. Thanks. Bye. Thank you
Barbara 😃💙🎻🥁
@Digitalpenz · 3:55
They're still doing the same old things like that that will cause them to have difficulties in their lives and do so. Yeah, definitely. There are times when definitely a bullet has been dodged. Thank you, God. And in retrospect, I see, okay, that's why that person is no longer there, because they weren't meant to be in my life, because where we were going was two separate places. It was just two different ways of being in the world
Carly D
@Astroality · 3:02
This person, this relationship, this connection, this coworker, this partnership, whatever, this family member is not for me any longer. And that's okay. I think so many times we feel guilt or we feel shame or we feel disappointment with releasing people and letting them go and letting them just be who they are and letting ourselves be who we are. Sometimes some people are just stuck in a different stage of their transformation and they just choose not to spread their wings and fly
Barbara 😃💙🎻🥁
@Digitalpenz · 5:00
As a matter of fact, you have maybe five or six, maybe ten of these T shirts. You're just hanging on to them. They don't fit anymore. They have holes in them and the holes in the tears are not some new fad. They just are not, they can't be worn, okay?
Carly D
@Astroality · 2:28
There's so much conditioning that happens in that. We see so many relationships and behaviors modeled, and then we either seek that out or it tends to find us, because that's the energy that we're carrying in ourselves. That's the energy that we're around. And it's so hard to break free from that sometimes because we don't feel like we'll have the support
Badia Atcherson
@BMoKareful · 1:09
But my ex has just reached out and I had one conversation with him, told me all that I needed to know. You're still stuck, and I'm not interested. And I'm so glad that I've outgrown him. So, yeah, I'm wiser. Yes. Oh, wow. Thank you
Carly D
@Astroality · 1:18
Wiser. I love that. I think that's the whole point of us getting into connections, relationships. I think it's the whole point, right? Like, that's what it's meant to be. You're just meant to learn lesson. And sometimes that lesson becomes a burden, and sometimes it becomes a huge blessing depending on how you take it. Right
Carly D
@Astroality · 1:23
And I love that you kind of keep those old voicemails, especially the ones where they go crazy on you and they totally lose their mind and they're mike not the same person anymore. If you're only using it during the times when they call you or whatever they try to reconnect with you, then it's healthy because it's a really good quick. It's almost like getting a shot in the arm, right? And then you're like, oh, yeah, not doing that again