a Shamans Shadow: "Mother"
Our mother loved us and that's why she beat us every day. Our mother's voice sounds so vivid and near. We remember when she took a look at us with such intention and power. Sometimes we don't know if our mother's look was a love of anger or love. She often made us feel powerless. She challenged our Virgo traits, the perfectionist in us by always reminding us that we fell short or wasn't good enough
Darrisha Daniel
@Dee94 · 2:02
Definitely an interesting swell, Erin, I wonder, I don't want to get super psychological here, but it's somewhat of a trait of of goodness. And I could be completely miscategorizing this, but multiple personality disorder. It's a way that people deal with trauma. They give certain traits to certain parts of their experiences and create different personas based on those experiences. Obviously, you're very well articulated and conscious person. So I'm sure this doesn't speak to you as far as that goes
So as we are continuously developing this relationship intentionally with this aspect of ourselves, we're being a little bit relatively to us, we're being a little bit more truer to ourselves if we give this component of ourselves a name, because now we have something to engage with, not just like, oh, it's just there. It's all me. Yeah, it's all me. But we've been fractured traumatized
Not just the part of me that loves people and wants to do good things, but it's all parts of me that were affected and each part of me was affected in a slightly different way. And it's through this process of trying to identify, empathize, and articulate that we see ourselves so much more in other people and other life systems. We can empathize even deeper. So we're not so much quicker to resort to anger out of ignorance or ego or pride
Darrisha Daniel
@Dee94 · 3:17
I don't believe that I'm fractured in that way. Although I have experienced a lot of trauma, I guess I have a lot of suppressed memories, most likely, but it never to the effect that I've had to create different personas to take on that trauma. For me, I didn't know what that was about in that sense, if that makes sense. But, yeah, I was definitely traumatized as a young person
Thank you, Dee and we appreciate you for sharing and being so brave and courageous. Truly thank you so much. We appreciate you
So then creating almost a relationship, which is an understanding. So instead of calling myself depressed and I say it that way, which doesn't really make sense, is when we tell ourselves, well, I am depressed. That is not who I am. I know it's just words, but words have meaning
Jesuna, thank you so much for joining this space of dialogue and thoughts and feelings and expression. Wow. Powerful, powerful. It's an honor to very briefly meet or be acquainted with your Shadow loose. And it's going to be even more beautiful to hear how she integrates into future dialogues here on Swell. So thank you so much