Allodoxaphobia - do you worry about other people’s opinions of you?
What I was wondering was, don't we all have a mild form of it or some form of this fear of what other people might think of our actions, what you're about to say or do, and if that influences our own actions. So the question for you all is, has there been an example where you wanted do something and did not do it because you were afraid of the opinion of other people in response to your actions
Bolanile O
@Bolanile · 1:51
But in terms of a time where I might have held back or been reserved and not really expressed myself based on the opinions or how I would be received or perceived by others, I would say not a time really comes to mind, but if anything, I would say in large groups of others, if there's a scenario where a lot of people are sharing and I tend to be more reserved because I'm more of an observer and I don't feel the need to push myself to the forefront, or if there's a scenario where we're in group dialogue and people are expressing themselves or sharing and they feel the need to take lead, then I tend to be more reserved in those scenarios
Bowie Rowan
@bowie · 2:46
But as an adult and realizing that I'm empowered to move through the world and provide safety for myself and all of these things, it feels a lot safer to do things and worry less about what other people are thinking or what their opinions are. But like both said to be true to myself and what makes sense for me
Hi Bolanile and boy thank you for your replies. I do agree as we grow older we tend not to pay attention to what others think and we do what we want to do. In my case there is one example though that comes to mind and that is on the golf course. Whenever I'm playing golf I tend to worry about the group behind me and is that catching up?
Darrisha Daniel
@Dee94 · 1:53
Thank you, Arish. Great question. I feel like as far as unrational fears go, phobias in general, I don't have this feeling about people and their opinions of me. I not to say that I disregard them, but I know who I am. I'm very strong in my personality. So if I do, I guess act according to a certain way of like Bobby was saying, there are certain ways that you act in certain communities that protect you. Yeah
Alexandra Hobson
@alihobson · 1:55
I don't necessarily worry about other people's opinions of me, but I'm more curious. It's just interesting to know, I guess, like, what people think of me. I'm being told, like, for example, some people, when they first meet me, think I'm really intimidating. And once they get to know me, they realize they say I'm completely different
Bowie Rowan
@bowie · 1:00
I thought your reply was really interesting because I relate to that because I think since I continually become less like concerned about others opinions of me or my choice voices, I feel a lot more curiosity around it like you mentioned, because I feel like it's a way to learn about each other because often I think what we're seeing in others or our opinions of others in the world are really more reflection of ourselves and I think that's a really interesting experience to have with another person when they say hey, this is how I see or experience you and it's because of X, Y and Z about myself for my experiences or how I grew up
Swell Team
@Swell · 0:15
Alexandra Hobson
@alihobson · 1:11
But I try not to worry about the negative opinions just because at the end of the day they are just opinions and most of the time if it is negative, it's most likely a projection and I know that everyone I meet or come across I'm not going to like and vice versa
Deborah Pardes
@DBPardes · 0:26
Hey, Bo. I think the word you're looking for is audacious. The opposite of this word. Althochelia phobia. Phobia. Aloxophobia. It's the best when you're audacious. You're probably not allowed, docsuphobia. I can't say it, so I must not be it. This is a great word. Thank you. Arri
Like, no one likes you or whatnot. And I saw it as a validation thing. And I absolutely hate that when I think about that now because I really based my people liking me based off of how many likes I got in the post. And I just think that's ridiculous of how I was when I was growing up. But I kind of just posted actually about this with social media. But I don't really post on social media that much anymore
Unity Eagle
@UnityEagle · 0:52
Wow. I learned many new words today as well. But I always mind my own business and what other people think of of me, it's their business. So I don't care what they think of me because they have a right to think of me whatever they want
Bolanile O
@Bolanile · 1:49
And so you do have the tendency to want to please others or fit in, whereas as you grow older and grow into yourself as a person, you live in that truth in who you are and you don't care what other people think. But yeah, great discussion
Palak Jain
@palakjain · 0:30
Not only once but it has happened with me many times. I was very timid and shy and used to think what others will think about me, whether it be my physical appearance, my vocab, etc etc. And after losing so many opportunities I realized that it is not worth it. And slowly and gradually what started bothering me was about my personal growth. So yes, it has been one h*** of an experience for me. I
Manohar Gaunekar
@Man33 · 1:04
One instance where I worried about others opinion about me was when I took admission in my engineering College most of the people, people who had taken admissions there were far more accomplished and they had far more knowledge than me and due to that I always felt that my opinions would be considered lesser or they won't be taken into consideration but as I started learning by myself and always learnt new things and didn't give up I came to know that no matter what others think about you, in the end it always matters what you think about yourself and what you do for yourself