Imagine having a conversation about physical intimacy with your parent. No, not about your physical intimacy. About your parents physical intimacy. Oh, you thought that was out of syllabus? Think again. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome to the Ironman Experience as well cast about society, art, culture, life, entertainment, geopolitics, pets and movies. And in this particular episode we talk about parents. Physical intimacy is a very tricky and delicate and difficult conversation to have with a parent
Aayan B
@aayanisms · 4:30
I was at a literature festival very recently and I met two wonderful entrepreneurs who floated an organization called Silver Talkies and they were catering to all the senior citizens and their mental wellbeing related to their physical wellbeing. And they have activities like salsa, tracking, dating, whatever, those kind of activities where it promotes social interactions, let's put it that way
Swell Team
@Swell · 0:15
Also, personally, I do not quite share the kind of equation with my parents where I could discuss either my sex life or theirs. So that could perhaps be because they never sat me down and gave me the birds and the bees talk when I was young. I just figured things out like how my other friends did and it was never the case with us where I would open up and talk about my relationships with them or seek out their advice
Aayan B
@aayanisms · 4:53
Just so that you know, it's not that I am comfortable having a similar conversation with my parents, but that's exactly the point, isn't it? That why not? And when will you? Will you not ever? And then why not ever? Somewhere I think it's too late or already not too early, where we need to evolve and grow
Binati Sheth
@Binati_Sheth · 3:06
You will find more elderly folks 50 and above on WhatsApp and Facebook than say someone who's gen Z. Gen Z almost doesn't use Facebook. They think it is super cringe lol. But point being, I think the conversation around this topic online is an echo chamber of sorts, right?
I think in the west, this sort of thing is far more present. There are so many also movies and shows about older women and men and love and dating in that age, grace and Frankie being one of them. Speaking of Grace and Frankie, there's also Jane Fonder, who's written this book called prime where she talks about, besides just health and fitness for elderly people. Also about what your body is going through and intimacy and sexual wellness
Deborah Pardes
@DBPardes · 2:45
It's more about understanding intimacy and love and how it contributes to people's wellbeing and being part of that conversation at a family level, I think that's really healthy. And it has to be introduced by the parents first early on for it to be really comfortable. Or else when a child introduces it, when a child is in their thirty s and the parents in their sixty s, I think it's kind of uncomfortable
And in our parents'generation, like my parents, the sex or we say these days intercourse was prohibited to talk about it was not prohibited, but it was considered not social. Therefore and and excuse me for talking very slowly because I don't use English very well, but that's it. Thank you
Deepak Mahaan
@MahaanMusings · 3:03
Quite an innovative idea. And one and as a free thinker, I have nothing against it. But I personally feel that this kind of a conversation can only happen when the parents and the children are well attuned to each other. The level of honesty, the level of openness is very important in such relationships. And in the Indian context, I don't think this kind of an openness exists or that kind of very few
Aayan B
@aayanisms · 3:06
I'm just suggesting in general, most children have this preconceived notion that the parents ought to be like this. Now that they're old, they'd rather count their ways down to oblivion. I am just saying as evolved air quotes on that as evolved citizens, human beings in the 21st century, believe it or not, we are in the year 2022. Should we not be more progressive in our minds? Whether our parents choose to have this conversation or not is completely up to them
Aayan B
@aayanisms · 1:56
Well, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and please do not need to speed up your conversation. I speak abysmally slowly so we are in the same boat and more power to you. Absolutely. You are at 25, I did not have the maturity that you share today and so kudos to you for being progressive and as and when you become a parent, you will clearly set some high standards and that's been the submission
Deepak Mahaan
@MahaanMusings · 0:46
Just for the information, I am a parent and you might take me as a young person. Yes, of course. I am young at heart and mind, but certainly not the age that you actually conceived me to be. I have a son who's quite old enough and we have very frank chats about lots of things. So basically, as I said, I'm a free thinker and I completely agree with lots of these kinds of ideas
Aayan B
@aayanisms · 3:26
And so I do sense that there is a sense of judgment that children impose upon their parents or grandparents, as the case might be, and put them into stereotypical definitions of how they ought to be or behave. And once they deviate from that template, it kind of upsets us
Aayan B
@aayanisms · 0:56
No, I'm sorry. I did not think that there was any assumption on my part on your age. If any of my commentary is suggested that then please accept my apologies ideas not to judge anybody by age or basis the commentary they make because knowledge or experience is in my view independent of age. So if that is how it has sounded to you then I please accept my humble apologies
Sreeja V
@Wordsmith · 4:53
And I have been consciously looking at myself given that I'm in close proximity to my parents and also I actually live with my in law and he is in his eighty s. And this has been an eye opener in many ways because we presume that they need help when actually they don't, right? So I tried shifting this outlook over the last two, three days
Aayan B
@aayanisms · 2:08
Hey, Sreeja, thanks so much for your response and I'm glad you found the swell resonating. I think that is the exact purpose of this discourse or commentary or conversation if you will, is to make us think it's not about the parents, it's about us. Are we being too judgmental? Are we being too constrictive? I don't know that's. So what constrictive? What I mean is are we being too restrictive with our generation and assuming that they always need us for everything?